HAVING SPENT my life paying attention to the mechanics of how we humans put together our experience and lose ourselves in it, I’ve spent the past couple decades training people how to develop a more conscious relationship with how they organize their experience in the moment. My goal is to help people create a more constructive and rich experience for themselves and others, in order to create a life that is stimulating, relationships that are mutually fulfilling, and a world that is improving. This path takes you beyond your own psychology and gives you a freedom beyond happiness.
As a mentor and coach, I teach how to slow down, pay attention, make a choice, and exercise control. I teach ways to nurture and indulge curiosity; how to embrace responsibility as a spiritual discipline. And how to let in what is there to experience. To facilitate this I create a safe container in which you can share and be heard and understood. Whether working in person or on the phone, I will listen deeply and engage thoroughly in what you need to share, yet my work is highly experiential. I will ground you with tools of perception that enable you to notice the subtle indications that you’re getting triggered, that some part of you rooted in archaic beliefs is running the show, or that you’re about to get lost in your story.
“Jim guided me through the sessions with gentleness, respect, and patience. He often turned my attention to how my thoughts and emotions were manifesting physically. His question, “Where do you feel this in your body?” has sparked many deep insights for me. But it was more than the questions Jim asked – it was his ability to sense what I needed from him at each moment in time. Sometimes I needed a question, sometimes a reassurance, and sometimes simply silence in order to go deeper into myself.” Connson Locke, PhD
While I listen to the story, I listen more closely to the story teller. My own attention is on tracking the interweaving of dissociation and presence, of trance and awareness. I teach how to separate from your experience in order to paradoxically be present enough to really have your experience. You’ll learn how to notice and respond to the subtle in-the-moment signs of age regression, projections, and other trance elements and unconscious defense mechanisms.
“Jim’s techniques are extremely powerful. Once I fully understood the concepts of “trance” and “getting bigger than it”, I could use them over and over again to regain equanimity when triggered. I strongly recommend Jim to anyone who is willing to do the work. Once you learn how to use the techniques, they will serve you well for the rest of your life.” Connson Locke, PhD
I give my clients much practice using tools which help them be present, congruent to their values, and effective in choice-making and follow through, but on a fundamental level, relationship is what I teach. Relationship is the source for all learning about self. Given that your identity is defined by the relationships you have and, in turn, your relationships take the shape they do because of your identity, my work starts with making the relationship with yourself very conscious.
“Originally, I worked closely with Jim for two years until my wedding in 2001. Since then I have kept in touch with Jim and, because we do our work by phone, he is always able to be there for me, no matter where I live. I contacted him in 2004 when we lived in California and I was pregnant with my first child, to work on my issues around motherhood. I contacted him again in 2010 from our new home in England, when a visit with my elderly parents raised painful issues around my relationship with my mother. Each time, Jim was able to help me work my way to a place of clarity and insight.” Connson Locke, PhD
I also love working with couples, families, business partners, and creative collaborators. These people benefit tremendously when they learn how their experience is formed by the relationship they have with themselves – and learn to apply themselves to that awareness consciously in alignment with their shared values and vision. My work brings attention to the structure of experience, which enables my clients to discern substance from style, and story from structure; which, in turn, gives relationships more integrity.
“Now, nearly 12 years later, my marriage is still going strong and I attribute a large portion of that to my work with Jim as well as the techniques he taught me. Jim often gave me “homework” to do with my future husband. This helped open a dialogue with my fiancé that brought us closer and created the basis for a strong marriage. At the time I was also suffering from depression and mood swings caused by trying to suppress anger and resentment. Jim taught me to accept those emotions – which, paradoxically, dispelled their power. Whereas before I often felt like I was drowning in my emotions, now I feel like I am planted on solid ground, able to rise above the emotional turmoil. Jim taught me to manage my emotions so that they rarely disrupt my life anymore. I still have negative emotions, but they no longer control me.”
Connson Locke, PhD
We all live in our experience, and it’s a beautiful thing to share experience with others. Being able to relax your resistance to having experience deepens your relationship to life and your relationship to others. Mindfulness is the training that enables you to be this present with yourself and others. It’s all about mechanics – the mechanics of the moment. People say the devil is in the details. I say pay attention and you get what you pay for.
“What good is mindfulness if you don’t use it to see and get past your self-defeating behaviors & underlying beliefs?”