On the day after the birthday marking the start of my 60th year, I’m posting a eulogy. It is for someone who is among the most influential people in my life – Ron Kurtz, who was a master synthesizer and master therapist; the creator of Hakomi Body-Centered Psychotherapy. He passed away on January 4th. This is what I wrote and posted at the website for the United States Association for Body Psychotherapy.
Discovering this website today, months after his passing, I am moved to write to Ron as if he’s still present. Yes, still present – like Milton Erickson, who’s ‘voice goes with you’, Ron is the laughing coyote ever in my consciousness – and sometimes in my conscience… Ron, you’ve been with me through the decades and my value of that has not diminished. As a mentor, thank you for the principles, the teaching, and the inspiration. Thank you for so many opportunities you provided to me and the gifts you have bestowed upon me. Professionally, you renewed my faith in the therapeutic endeavor and you gave me a path to both follow and build upon. Thank you for the direction that your own curiosity provided. (As you were fond of saying, “follow me boys, I’m sure it’s here somewhere”.) As a friend, thank you for the dance of intimacy that covered such a wide spectrum of context and emotion. It’s been a pleasure to share life with you. Thank you for Colorado, Connecticut, Massachusetts (Interface), Arizona, New York (Omega), and the Northwest – living in community and building everything from ideas to systems to organization to legitimacy to family. Thank you for your role, 25 years ago, in bringing into my life the person who is my life partner – that was 10 years after our first conflict, which was over a woman! And thank you for our playful years of being new fathers together. Thank you for the push-pull, in-&-out challenges that we threw each others’ way (I think I’ve negotiated more – both with you and for you – than I have with anyone) and for the support we laid out for each other, keeping us in the game. I’m sorry that life is so short. Thank you for making it sweeter. I’m missing you.